so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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