You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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