So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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