Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize