Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
