You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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