You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks