Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
My hand turned me down
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.