in pain and im wearing pink underwear
i dont own pink underwear
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.