i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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