I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
