are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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