Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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