This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
