I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
please don't ironically join a cult
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