There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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