toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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