Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
MIDGETS
????
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
