So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
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We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
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I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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