so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
