I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
