If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
