I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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