Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
