Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
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All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
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You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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