I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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