he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Let's paint friendship bongs
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
