I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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