Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize