Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
smell my finger.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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