Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
