Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
