i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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