Cold hands, warm shart.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I am midnight drunk by noon
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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