i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She bit a glass in half.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
