I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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