Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize