The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
