this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Randomize
