Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
