Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
