she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
