Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
