y did u give ur computer a hand job?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize