If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
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raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
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Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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