Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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