also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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