The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
