that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
i believe in u and ur pee
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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