Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
