Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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