Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
