Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
