Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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