your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
