if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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