she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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